September 4, 2009 The 2-More-Bites Tango: How YOU Can Take the Lead
We’ve all done the 2-more-bites-tango. But why?
Researchers conclude that getting young kids to eat more is an overriding priority of most parents (See Two More Bites.) But why? There’s no evidence that American children are suffering from malnutrition. On the contrary, as many as 10% of our infants and toddlers are overweight.
There is a disconnect between how much young children need to eat and how much we parents want them to eat.
One study designed to find out how mothers decide when to feed their babies and when their babies have eaten enough reported these surprising results:
- While most mothers start out letting their infants decide when to start and stop eating, between 6 and 12 months, mothers become less likely to use their infant’s cues – crying, nuzzling, chewing on fingers, licking lips -- to decide when to feed them.
- By 12 months, ¾ of the mothers in the study did not report using specific infant feeding cues, even though children at this age are much better at communicating when they are hungry or full.
- Instead, of using infant cues to decide when to start and stop feeding, mothers based their feeding decisions on things such as schedule or how much had been eaten.
If you aren’t following your children’s cues about eating, are you feeding them too much?
Researchers don’t yet know this answer to this question. However, they do know that mothers who use food to soothe their children when they are fussy, but not hungry, are more likely to overfeed them. They also know that children eat more than they need when they learn to eat “for their parents” instead of to satisfy their internal hunger and fullness cues.
3 Changes YOU can make today:
1) Figure out why you want your child to eat more and then address your own concerns. If your primary concern is nutrition give your child a daily vitamin, improve her snacking, “healthify” dessert (with fruit, plain yogurt, cheese and crackers). If you don’t want your child to be hungry, reduce her snacking, teach her to eat at meals. If you abhor waste, reduce the portions you provide.
2) Decide what you want your child to learn about eating and make sure that’s what you’re teaching her. For instance, if you want your child to respond to her own internal cues when she’s older then you can’t teach her to ignore them when she’s young. If you want your child to have a healthy relationship to dessert, don’t use it as a reward.
3) Trust your child. This is a hard one! But once your lessons are on track, you need to trust your child. Only she knows how much she needs to eat. And if she doesn’t eat the way you would like, reevaluate the lessons your child needs to learn.
I would love to hear from you!
Did your parents make you eat two more bites and if so, did it have any lasting effects?
Do you have trouble teaching your child to eat vegetables without telling her how many bites to take?
Do you worry about about teaching your child to eat too much?
Changing the conversation from nutrition to habits.
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Source: Hodges, E. A., S. O. Hughes, J. Hopkinson, and J. O. Fisher. 2008. “Maternal Decisions About the Initiation and Termination of Infant Feeding.” Appetite 50: 333-39.
Reader Comments (6)
My son was only 6 lbs when he was born so my natural tendency has been to feed him as much as I can. In the beginning, it was easy to see and follow the signs. However, it's been harder recently given my son seems to do a lot of the similar signals (licking, putting fingers in mouth, crying) due to teething. And when I try to feed him, he seems to be hungry -- although I do notice that there are times when he doesn't eat as much or as voraciously, which leads me to believe that maybe I misread his signals.
Any tips?
Shoegirl,
You are right to follow your son's cues about eating. It can be hard to do now that he's teething. All I can advise is that you never push him to eat more than he wants, and sometimes offer him comfort from teething before offering him food... especially if you think he's probably not hungry.
Thanks for your comment and let me know how it goes.
Dina
My husband & I use the "two more bites" method almost every dinner & I know the sitter uses it too. We use it mainly to get her to eat veggies otherwise they will sit on her plate untouched. She eats meat very well, though lately insists on using a 'dip' with most. Any suggestions?
Megan,
There are two things you need to change in order to break out of the two-more-bites Tango. The first is that you have to really believe that it is more important that you daughter be taught to consider her own hunger/satiation than it is that she learn to eat vegetables.
The second way out of the Tango is to change how/when you serve vegetables. Try serving them throughout the day. A bite or two of veggie at breakfast, lunch, dinner and all snacks adds up to more than 2 bites at dinner. Try giving them to her to munch on when she's hungry before a meal, and you're still cooking. Try putting less of everything on her plate and teach her to eat a bite of this and then a bite of that, going around the plate.
Good luck.
Dina
"There’s no evidence that American children are suffering from malnutrition. On the contrary, as many as 10% of our infants and toddlers are overweight."
OK, I do believe weight gain in childrean is a good sign of sorts, but think that the way these 2 sentences are put together point to the meaning that the children in USA are consuming nutritions foods (I agree 'its not about nutrition', but just here, it is nutrition for nutrition sake!). I would guess the kids who are overweight are so as a result of eating calorie laden pure junk and hence, malnourished. And so, the quoted lines may need to to revisited to clarify the meaning you are trying to convey.... what do you feel?
Rao,
Part of the reason kids are overweight in America is because they're consuming calorie-laden junk -- such as sodas -- but part of the reason is because they're eating portions that are way too big. But really, the reason I put these ideas together is because many parents are overly worried that their young children are not eating enough and that's why they pressure them to eat "too more bites." Instead of worrying about amounts, though, parents should look at their children's overall diets and make sure they're dominated by really healthy foods, not the marginally healthy stuff that passes for nutritious fare.
Thanks for your comment and for asking for clarification.
Dina