May 17, 2011 The Perils of Plate-Cleaning
One reason for the national obesity epidemic is that parents teach kids to clean their plates. And the portions on those plates are both larger, and more calorie dense, than ever before.
How else can we explain the fact that almost all adults finish all the food on their plate, regardless of how much food there is or how hungry they are?
- In a recent study 91% of adults reported they had eaten every bite of their last meal.
- 28% of the adults said they had finished their food even though they had been full.
There’s no research I know of that has tracked the connection between these parenting techniques and the adult habit of plate cleaning, but it's the only feasible explanation. Parents have to be teaching kids this trick. By telling our kids to clean their plates, take two more bites, or pressure them to eat more than they would without a little intervention, we’re producing adults who follow our advice: they gobble up all the goods.
Plate-cleaning is planned behavior.
Most research shows that people unconsciously eat more when confronted with big portions. Read Size Matters and How Big is that Bag? Eating in the Age of Portion Distortion.
What's surprising to me about this research is that it shows that most people set the intention to clean their plates before they sit down to eat.
- 86% of the people in the study said they planned to consume the entire meal from the outset.
This has got to be learned behavior.
Even the folks who ate past the point of satiation didn't blame their over-consumption on unconscious eating.
- 77% of the people who continued eating past the point of fullness said they did so to avoid wasting food.
That's parent logic if I ever heard it!
Once learned, plate-cleaning is a hard habit to break.
- All but 18% of the people who planned to clean their plates stuck to their mission. And most of the people who revised their plan did so by taking another helping. In other words, they revised their plan by eating more than the original portion size. Only 7% ate less than they planned because they were full.
I'm really not interested in pointing the finger at parents. (Though I wouldn't blame you if that's what you took away from this post.)
But I think we can use this study as a wake-up call, to show us that sometimes we teach our children unintended lessons—even when we have the best intentions.
Today, in this age of portion distortion, when a sandwich at Panera packs in almost half a day’s worth of calories—a Sierra Turkey on Focaccia with Asiago Cheese has 920 calories and a kids' size macaroni and cheese delivers almost 500 calories—we have to ask ourselves: Is finishing their food really the habit we want to teach our kids?
Habits learned in childhood last a lifetime. Unless your adult children deliberately (struggle to) unlearn them.
So rather than push children to eat more, I suggest we teach kids to:
- Leave some food on their plates.
- Pause during eating to give their bodies a chance to signal they are full. The Power of the Pregnant Pause.
We also can:
- Reduce how much food we put on our kids' plates, so at least they consume less when they do clean their plates. (Offering less food also has the unintended benefit of enticing reluctant eaters to sample the offerings. Read When Less is More.)
- Believe our kids when they say they're full. Read The Dinner Dance: When is Enough Enough?
I know, this approach won't solve the problem of getting your kids to eat their veggies—but there are habits more important than veggie-eating— and it won't get your toddler to sit still long enough to stave off a meltdown. These problems can be solved in other ways though. For ideas read Playing For Peas, Why Won't My Child Eat Dinner?, When Playing is More Fun Than Eating, and The Upside of Hunger.
Remember, it's not what you feed, but what you teach, that matters.
~Changing the conversation from nutrition to habits.~
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Source: Fay, S. H., D. Ferriday, E. C. Hinton, N. G. Shakeshaft, P. J. Rogers, and J. M. Brunstrom. 2011. “What Determines Real-World Meal Size? Evidence for Pre-Meal Planning.” Appetite 56: 284-89.
Reader Comments (13)
Here's the dilemma at my house: my 9 year old son will say he's done, with food left on his plate, but five minutes later he wants dessert, which is usually fruit. My kids are good eaters for the most part, but this has me befuddled. If he's hungry, should he clean his plate before he moves to the next item from the kitchen? I'd appreciate your thoughts on this.
Wow Dina! This is so interesting. Your post gave me so much to think about. I actually DO try to have my kids finish their plates. I don't really know why, but it probably has to do with avoiding waste. Not that I tell them to finish their plates but I try to anticipate how much they are likely to eat and give them a helping of that is smaller than that (to give them a pause when they ask for a second helping so that they can check in with their bodies). It never occurred to me that I was teaching them a bad habit of just finishing their plates! Or at least a habit that does not translate well into the "real world".
Kyra:
Thanks so much for your questions because it's an issue so many parents struggle with. Here are my 2 cents. My guess is that your son says he's done, not because he's no longer hungry but because he no longer wants to eat whatever is being served. Then, he really is hungry and he wants dessert.
One solution is to help your son articulate what's really going on so he can say, "I don't want any more of this chicken." Then you can ask if he is still hungry for fruit dessert. By the way, I'm a big fan of fruit for dessert. It's not just a nutritious dessert; it's a tactic that helps parents feel better when their kids don't eat as well as they would like. Of course, once your son gets better at saying why he doesn't want anymore of the main meal you have to let him stop eating it. Otherwise you'll teach him it's better to lie and say he's full. (And I'm sure you can relate to what it feels like to not want to eat item X, but to want item Y.)
If you're against this, or if your son always wants to skimp on the main meal and move on to dessert, you might want to consider setting better boundaries around post-meal snacking. It doesn't sound like this is your problem, but when kids are chronically allowed to wait for the dessert or the snack they learn there is no reason to eat the main meal. In other words, there's an incentive to holding out. Better boundaries will reinforce the need to eat food at mealtimes.
Either solution—teaching better communication skills/using fruit dessert or setting better boundaries—is better than making your kids clean their plates because the solutions I have suggested teach kids to be honest (with us and with themselves) about how hungry they really are. Teaching kids to clean their plates only teaches them to look for external rules about how much to eat.
Good luck, and let me know what you think.
Dina
Thy,
I think your strategy of serving small portions and allowing your kids to come back for more is a wise one. But, as you suggested, you have to be careful about the messages you're sending about finishing their food.
As always, thanks for your thoughtful comment.
Dina
I've been reading your blog for awhile and I like your philosophy, but I could use some help if you have the time. What about when you do exactly this...feed the kids healthy meals, emphasize "listen to your tummy", do not make them clean their plate or force them to eat more than one bite of foods they think they won't like, etc., and the child is still overweight? I've been reading here and on other nutrition blogs about "getting kids to eat" and I do not have that problem. My 8-yr-old is not an adventurous eater but does eat a decent variety of vegetables and pretty much any kind of fruit. I cook dinner nearly every night (meat, veggie, potato or rice, and sometimes fruit). I pack her lunch with fruit and veggies with dip, and a sandwich. The school does not allow the kids to trade food or to bring sweets, so I know she's eating what I packed for her. Only water or milk to drink. Orange juice in the morning if she wants it, but no other juices or soda in the house. Often at dinner she wolfs down her food and we tell her to slow down. I must assume she is eating too much, but I don't see how to limit portions without being incredibly controlling and possibly exacerbating the problem. If she says she is hungry, in general I tell her to have a piece of fruit, which she usually does.
Last time I took her to the pediatrician, he patted her (protruding) tummy and jovially told her to stop drinking so much soda (which she has maybe once a month, if that). (We live in Germany, where folks are a bit more "direct", shall we say. But if looks could kill....) I feel like people take one look at her and think we feed her chips and McDonald's. She doesn't have a perfect diet, but it is nothing like what's assumed in practically every article I read on childhood obesity. The tips are things like, "give them veggies and dip for snacks instead of chips and candy!" Like, wow! What a great idea! Been doing that for years!
I really, truly, don't know what to do. I've started a food diary for her to take to the doctor to try to get some help. Other than that, I've thought about going lower-carb and seeing if that helps. But it seems restrictive for an 8-yr-old. Any other suggestions?
Thanks, Dina. I'm going to use this and I think it will work since he doesn't say he's full and in fact has said that he's done with what's on the plate. Sometimes it's amazing how much growing kids eat, so it can be hard to throw food away when he's going to turn around ten minutes later and be hungry! But you're right, there are times when you want to eat Y but not X and I need to respect that.
Kyra:
You don't have to throw away the uneaten food. Serve a much smaller portion and then if your son wants more, give him a little more. Chances are good that he'll eat what he's taken. Then you can store the leftovers (even if it's a small portion) for a later meal or snack.
Good luck,
Dina
Jen,
I am so sorry to hear about the struggle you have trying to figure out how to best parent your daughter around food and eating. I'm particularly sorry to hear that the doctor (and others) have been hurtful. I think your approach sounds very good: directing your daughter towards healthy eating while being compassionate and not dictatorial.
I suggest that you start to think about the tools your daughter will need for what will most likely be a lifelong struggle with food. I would begin by engaging your daughter in a discussion about different types of hunger: belly hunger, eye hunger (it looks good), emotional hunger. The trick here is not to deny food at all. It's simply to get your daughter aware that her motivation for eating probably comes from different sources (as it does for us all). I'll write about this either next week or the week after, so stay tuned. In the meantime, you might want to read the book Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole. it's pitched to adults, but it will offer many insights for you as a parent.
Good luck. If you would like a consultation we can schedule a skype call.
Best,
Dina
I just wanted to share a tip for breaking the habit of finishing your plate as an adult. My husband periodically eats out a lot and when he has had his fill of food he pours his glass of water over the plate. That way he will not be tempted to just keep picking at the food when he is no longer hungry. He was raised to always finish his plate and also it is just nice to sit and pick at the food whilst talking.
I was just referred to your blog and I really like your philosophy. This topic hits close to home. Not regarding feeding my son who is only eight months and loves almost every vegetable that I throw at him. Cleaning the plate was a habit that took me a few months of conscious effort to break. It feels much better to just listen to my body and eat what it wants. I'm glad you are encouraging others to stay clear of cleaning the plate.
Kirsten,
Thanks for your kind words. I'm impressed that you've been able to break the plate-cleaning habit; I still struggle with it.
Glad your son is eating well. The "change" - obstinate eating - is around the corner developmentally. Hope you sail through that trying time. (But if you don't, you always know where to come for support and advice!)
Best,
Dina
Hi Dina,
I love this post - as a Dietitian, I work with adults who probably were told to finish their plate as kids.
My question is, what age is old old enough to know when they've eaten enough? I struggle with this with my 3-1/2 year old. She will say she is done and/or not hungry, but I don't trust that she knows what this means. I will let her stop eating, but then before bed she will tell me she's hungry. She also does the "I'm done" to get to the fruit, but not always. :)
Danielle,
Thanks for your question. I answered it in my blog post Treating the Symptom, Not the Cause (and I'll have more to say next week when I talk about what "I'm not Hungry Really Means." I hope this information helps, but if not, let me know.
Dina