January 24, 2012 The Portion Size Problem: A Matter of Trust
The problem with portion size is this: Parents don’t trust their kids to get it right.
Think about it, if you thought your children would eat the right amount you wouldn't have to intervene. But you get involved because there's lot of evidence that your kids are kind of crappy about portion control.
Overeating gets all the media attention but most parents of young children are more worried about under-eating. In one study of kindergarteners, 85% of parents tried to get their kids to eat more.
Rather than control your kids' consumption, consider teaching your kids to self-regulate..accurately. Researchers accomplished this task in 6 weeks. You can too. (Read on for details.)
As I see it, the trust problem stems from two sources.
First:
- Parents know kids are born being able to regulate how much to eat. Parents take this to mean their kids won’t overeat. (And this is true unless parents subvert their kid’s natural instincts which we do all the time. Read Two More Bites.)
- Parents also know that kids frequently under-eat. They haven’t yet learned to gauge how much food they need to get from one eating opportunity to another. (And many young kids don’t understand why they can’t eat whenever they want to….like later, after they’re done playing!) In the short-term, under-eating can be a big problem for parents.
At the same time:
- Either, parents think that young children know when they’re hungry and when they’re full (but they still have to be trained to eat enough food at the right times).
- Or, parents think young kids don’t really know how hungry or full they are and they’re not capable of learning this at such an early age.
The result is a situation where parents are willing to risk teaching their kids to overeat in order to make sure their kids don't under-eat. It's a high-stakes gamble.
Research shows children vary in their ability to self-regulate how much they eat.
So you might be right to distrust your kids. Some kids naturally eat more than they need. Other kids stop eating way too soon.
Unfortunately, many of the tactics most parents rely on to solve the situation simply make it worse. Kids respond to pressure by eating less or to restriction by eating more.
But even when parental prodding is relatively benign consider this:
When parents control how much kids eat, children don't learn to self-regulate—they don't learn to do the job on their own.
You've got to let go.
Teach your kids to self-regulate.
In one study, researchers taught a group of 3-4 year old children to self-regulate. They:
- Talked about the concepts of hunger, satiety and overeating.
- Educated the children on the anatomy of eating: mouth (for chewing), esophagus (for swallowing) and stomach (where the food goes when swallowed).
- Provided playtime with dolls with external stomachs that showed different levels of fullness.
- Encouraged the children to check in with their internal cues of hunger and fullness before, during, and after eating.
You can do all of this at home—even the dolls. The stomachs were made from nylon material (i.e. stockings) and were filled to varying degrees with salt. Make a few and strap them on to a couple of Barbies.
- Children played with the dolls and were taught to identify the stomachs with different amount of fullness.
- The children were asked to place their hand over their own stomach and tell whether they were hungry, a little full or very full.
- The children were asked to choose the doll stomach that was most like the state of their own stomach at various times throughout the day.
Will your kids make mistakes if you leave the eating up to them? Sure. But that’s how they learn.
The key is to talk to your kids about the underlying issues (hunger and satiation) and to focus less on the food.
Set appropriate times for meals and snacks—no eating on demand—and then let your kids practice, practice, practice. It won't just solve your short-term problems, it'll teach your kids the habits they need for a lifetime of healthy eating.
Remember, you have to let your children choose not to eat in order for them to choose to eat. (It's a freedom thing.) And you have to allow them to choose not to eat enough in order for them to learn to get it right. If this freaks you out read The Upside of Hunger.
For more on this topic read:
~Changing the conversation from nutrition to habits.~
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Sources:
Orrell-Valente, J. K., L. G. Hill, W. A. Brechwald, K. A. Dodge, G. S. Pettit, and J. E. Bates. 2007. “"Just Three More Bites": an Observational Analysis of Parents' Socialization of Children's Eating At Mealtime.” Appetite48(1): 37-45.
Johnson, S. L. 2000. “Improving Preschoolers' Self-Regulation of Energy Intake.” Pediatrics 106(6): 1429-35.
Reader Comments (4)
Thank you for this! This is something that my husband and I struggle with especially because our kids are both so different. One of them is a boredom eater and tends towards overeating. We're trying to teach her to slow down and ask herself if she's really hungry (even if we only have healthy options in the house like fruit or nuts, she will want them I think just because she's bored!) The other one is so busy talking, talking, talking at meal times that he barely eats anything. We don't want to silence him but at the same time he is so slim we probably encourage him to eat more than he might need. It is such a tough call to know when to encourage trying and when to recognize trying new foods is different than the 'have just one more bite" thought.
Brenda,
I agree that encouraging kids to try new foods is different than trying to get them to eat a certain amount. Your situation highlights an important point: you have the same goal for your kids—that they learn how to eat the right amount—but the skills they need to learn are different. So the structure should be the same—they decide how much they eat—but the teaching tactics you use might differ accordingly.
Good luck. This is a tough one.
Best,
Dina
Thanks for the article!
Here in Ireland it is common for parents to encourage children to clear their plate at mealtimes - there seems to be a real bias in favor of overeating rather than under eating. We teach children to ignore their bodies and to eat according to what is in front of them - the tyranny of the empty plate! I suspect that this is how we end up with adults who eat according to visual cues (i.e. a cleared plate!) rather than internal feelings of satiety - Brian Wansink has written some interesting stuff on the adult overeating phenomenon.
I also think that the concept of hunger has been "attacked" by our society. Advertisers bombard us with messages telling us that hunger should be "banished" or "stamped-out", and gone are the days of working up a healthy appetite. As a result, many of the parents that I speak to are obsessed with ensuring that their children are never hungry - even though a little hunger is now and then is a normal part of human existence.
I love your idea of educating children to recognize how hungry/satiated they are. Keep up the good work!
David
David,
I agree that we have become terrified of hunger, and it's a shame. It makes parents do crazy things and it teaches our kids crazy lessons.
Thanks for chiming in, and for the kind words about my blog!
Best,
Dina