Do You Have a Dinner Backup?

A backup can save the day.

Parents often ask me what they ought to do when their child refuses to eat the meal that's been prepared. A backup is almost always my answer.

I don't need a backup anymore because I'm not parenting a defiant eater anymore. But boy, did cottage cheese save my life.

Here's an old post about backups for you to read while I finish my book! And do read this post on Cook. Play. Explore. which describes the author's experience using this technique.

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Cottage cheese gets a bad rap.  It has the misfortune of being thought of as a diet food (and a pretty awful one at that).  But let me tell you how it changed my life.

My daughter likes cottage cheese.  She doesn’t LOVE it, would never choose it over something preferable – something like sushi, steak or even mac ‘n cheese – but when I serve up meatloaf, a spicy chili or a new dish that doesn’t quite make it, cottage cheese is her “go-to” meal.

I learned a long time ago that giving my daughter the option of eating cottage cheese whenever she didn’t want my dinner enabled me to cook whatever I desired.  And that opened up the culinary world to my husband and me – and, as it turned out, to my daughter as well.

Cottage cheese is our backup.  And, sometimes, having a backup is all you need to turn a tense meal around.

Kids have all sorts of reasons to decline your meal: they don’t like it, they don’t feel like eating it today, they’re cruising for some control.  Having a backup eliminates the sting of your kids’ snubs. 

Having a backup means you don’t have to beg, bribe or cajole your kids into eating, you don’t have to cook an alternate meal (or multiple alternates if you have a couple of kids) and you don’t have to worry about starvation.  You can simply say, “There’s always cottage cheese.”

A backup gives your children the safety net they need.

The backup gives your kids control over what they eat because they know exactly what the options are: they eat either the meal you’ve prepared or the backup.

The backup gives your children the freedom to try new foods because they know there’s always an out: the backup.

The backup eliminates the power play.

Your children don’t have to like cottage cheese.

Don’t panic if your kids don't like cottage cheese. There are lots of other foods you can use as a backup: tofu, hummus, plain yogurt, beans (or anything else out of a can that can be consumed without cooking).

Whatever backup food you choose, make sure it meets the following criteria:

1) The backup must always be the same food item. Pick ONE food and only ONE food to use as a backup.  It will undermine your efforts if your give your children choices for the backup of if the backup changes from time to time.

2) The backup must always be available. Use a food that isn’t highly perishable and which you usually stock. Cottage cheese works because it comes in small snack sizes that stay fresh for weeks at a time.

3) The backup must be nutritious.  That way you won’t worry when your children choose it.

4) The backup must be a NO COOK item.  The point is to make your life easier, not harder.

5) The backup must NOT be a preferred food.  Don’t choose cereal, sandwiches, flavored yogurt, or anything else your children would rather eat. You don’t want to give them an incentive to choose the backup. Instead, select something your kids like, not LOVE, and which they find kind of boring.

The backup works by changing the dynamic at the dinner table.  When you set the overarching parameters, and your children make the choices, you alter your interactions so there's no more fighting about food. And your kids end up eating more of what you serve.  Now that's a habit to cultivate!

~ Changing the conversation from nutrition to habits. ~

The Magic of (Plain) Yogurt

Stonyfield has increased the sugar in its yogurt!

Apparently, it's not sweet enough. A reader on Marion Nestle's blog Food Politics writes:

• The French Vanilla (6 oz cup) used to have 17g of sugar, now it has 27g! 
• The Peach (also 6 oz cup) used to have 20g, now it has 26g. 

For a point of reference: an 8 ounce bottle of Coke has 27g of sugar. (I know, and none of the calcium, or protein...) Read Yogurt vs Coke. 

 

You know my opinion:

• The sugar drives our kids' habits. No matter what form the sugar takes, it's the taste that counts.
• The more our kids get used to eating sweet foods, the harder it is to get them to eat "real" foods...like broccoli or apples.

Stonyfield’s Vice President for Communications and Social Media, Alice Markowitz explains (also on Marion Nestle's blog):

In 2011, we replaced some of the sugar in our Smooth and Creamy style nonfat yogurts with organic stevia. Our fans didn’t like the switch, so we went back to using just organic sugar with our new Blends. 

Organic sugar...it's supposed to make you feel better.

Ms. Markowitz goes on to say:

In fact, the slight increase is due primarily to an increase in milk in the product, resulting in more protein, more milk sugar.   As with many of our products, Blends has a mix of naturally-occurring sugars from milk and fruit and some added sugars. 

This just goes to show that yogurt with fruit is sweet already. Why add more?

Healthy yogurt is plain yogurt.

• Healthy in terms of nutrition. 
• Healthy in terms of habits.

Here's a post I wrote a few years ago on the Magic of (Plain) Yogurt.

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Want a magic pill to get your kids to try new foods?

Here it is… YOGURT! Yes, you can teach your children to eat new foods using only yogurt.

I’ve written about yogurt before, about how great plain yogurt is (and how bad sweetened yogurt is) for teaching kids to eat right -- Read Yogurt vs. Coke, But Plain Yogurt is Gross, Yogurt on the Brain.  

Even still, I never realized before how many things you can do with plain yogurt, and as a result, what a boon it is for parents: you can use the same old food your children already love and eat to expand their repertoire, just by switching things up.

Cindy at Fix Me a Snack is on a mission to develop 101 recipes for yogurt.  She’s up to 80 and all I can say is you’ve got to check this out!  Read the list.

Last night I made a version of the Rhubarb Mango Yogurt (#51), only I used frozen blueberries instead of the mango.  Everyone loved it.

But the recipe I can't wait to try is the Banana Coconut Pie Yogurt (#65).

Look at it.  Doesn't it look yummy?  It's made with mashed banana, coconut extract, shredded coconut and plain yogurt. Brilliant!

The imagination, the creativity and the variety on this list are amazing.  Reading through the recipes, it hit me: You could teach your kids to eat new foods using only yogurt.

Here's how it would work:

1) Start with the recipe that you’re sure will be a winner.  

Look over the list with your child and pick the recipe that looks the best.  Not the healthiest. Not the most creative.  The best. 

Consider the Banana Toffee Yogurt (#61). Or the Smore Yogurt (#79) pictured here. It's made with graham crackers, chocolate sauce, marshmallows and plain yogurt.

2) Next, move onto a yogurt that might be a little more challenging, but stay in the Love Domain.

Consider the Cinnamon Toast Yogurt (#73), the Jamtacular Yogurt (#77) or the Banana Nut Butter Honey Yogurt (#12).

By now, your child will probably be thinking that this new food thing is alright!

3) Then, as people of my generation used to say, “Keep on Truckin'."

• Nutty Yogurt (#69)

• Yogurt Salad (#46), made with cucumbers. (Pictured here.)

• Garbanzo Bean Yogurt (#49)

• Avocado Yogurt with Fresh Mango (#39)

One day you might even find yourself trying out #50! (If you do, let me know how it goes.)

Why this strategy will work:

1) It will get two ideas into your child’s head. The first is that plain yogurt is a good food.  The second is that new foods aren’t always bad, boring and healthy.  Training the brain is just as important as training the taste buds.  Read Mind Over Matter.

2) The familiarity of keeping one dimension of the dish constant – the yogurt – helps reluctant children feel comfortable trying new foods because it helps them know what to expect.  Read Look Into My Crystal Ball.

3) Alternating what goes into the yogurt doesn’t just alter the taste, it alters the texture, the aroma, the appearance and even the temperature.  Mixing up these sensual properties is a huge part of learning to eat new foods.  Read For Extreme Fruit and Vegetable Avoiders....

Half the battle of getting kids to eat new foods is teaching them that "new" can be fun, exciting, and, yes, tasty. 

I’ve contributed some recipes to the list, but that’s not why I’m so enthusiastic about Cindy’s project.  I love it because it offers 101 ways to accomplish one of the most important components of learning to eat right... trying new foods.

But you don't have to stick with just the yogurt. Here's another way to introduce new: try some of Cindy's interesting presentation methods: The fish bowl (#30), the parfait glass (#61), and the bear bowl (#68).  ReadMake "New" Work for You.

Get your kids in the new groove and before you know it, they'll start complaining when you go back to the old standards. Now that's a problem to behold.

 ~ Changing the conversation from nutrition to habits. ~

Blueberry Smoothies: The Case of the Hidden Spinach

When I was eight, my mother revealed that for the past six months she had painstakingly poured skim milk into a whole milk container.

Her admission came one evening when she suggested that my brothers and I switch from whole milk to skim milk and the three of us, in a rare moment of consensus, all said, "yuk!"

"You've been drinking skim milk for months," my mother said. We didn't believe her. But, of course, it was true.

With a smirk on her face, my mother reached into the back of the refrigerator where she had hidden a fresh bottle of skim milk. She poured us each a glass of the skim milk and a glass of the "whole" milk. They were the same. And with that, my brothers and I began to drink skim milk poured directly from the skim milk bottle.

The only way your children can learn to like something is if they know they have been eating it.

I recently joined an online discussion where a mother was describing how much her daughter loved the muffins she made. The mom was happy because, unbeknownst to the daughter, the muffins contained zucchini. 

• "Why not tell your daughter the muffins contain zucchini?" I wrote.
• "Because, then my daughter will stop eating the muffins," this mother replied.

It's a tricky situation, but only if you're thinking short-term. 

• Short-term thinking: I can't risk my daughter rejecting these muffins because it is the only way I can get zucchini into her.
• Long-term thinking: When I reveal the ruse, my daughter will probably reject the muffins. Soon, though, she'll remember how much she loves them. Then she'll start to rethink her objection to zucchini.

I'm all about gunning for the long-term. Read The Happy Bite.

Once your daughter sees that she likes zucchini, but only in muffins, you'll be able to include it in other yummy recipes. She'll slowly start to expand her zucchini-acceptance.

If you can't convince your child to taste new foods read Why Some Kids Should Spit.

When you hide an ingredient you teach your children that the ingredient ought to be hidden, that it tastes bad. 

Hiding food reinforces what your children already think. That's not what you intend to do, is it?

Your kids can't decide they like something unless they know they're eating it.

• "Mom, what's in this smoothie?"
• "Blueberries, bananas, yogurt."
• "Mmm, I love blueberries, bananas, and yogurt. 

• "Mom, what's in this smoothie?"
• "Blueberries, bananas, spinach, yogurt."
• "Mmm, I love blueberries, bananas, spinach and yogurt."

 ~Changing the conversation from nutrition to habits.~