The Lying Zone

Should you let your kids stop eating even if you suspect they're not quite full?

Or let them eat if you know they're not hungry?

The surprising answer is yes.

Otherwise, kids just learn to lie.

In most families, there is only one legitimate reason to eat: hunger.

That means if kids want to eat something they have to say they’re hungry, even if they’re not. “That cake looks good; I’m hungry.”

It also means that if they don’t want to eat something kids often have o say they’re not hungry, even if they are. “Those peas look gross; I’m not hungry.” (Sometimes kids also say, “I don’t like it,” to get out of eating.)

I don’t really think of this as lying, per se. Rather, children are working with the tools we give them.  

A story to illustrate the problem:

One day when my daughter was about four I needed to drag her along during an unusually long morning of running errands. As we were going to be in a part of town that we rarely visited, which also happened to be near my daughter’s favorite ice cream parlor, I told her that I would take her for an ice cream when we were done.

After running around for most of the morning, we headed over to the ice cream parlor. It was around noon so I asked my daughter if she was hungry. I thought the question was relatively benign but when my daughter stared back at me in silence I knew something was wrong.

I waited a moment and then asked again. Still, nothing. After a few minutes I had an insight.

• “You can’t tell me whether you’re hungry,” I said. 
• “You are worried that if you say you are hungry I will make you eat lunch. Then you’ll be too full for ice cream." 
• "On the other hand, if you say that you’re not hungry, you’re worried that I won’t let you have any ice cream because we don’t usually eat when we’re not hungry. Is that right?” 
• My daughter nodded; her eyes welled up. 
• She was in quite a jam; she really wanted that ice cream.

The solution:

• “How about if you tell me the truth and I promise that you can have ice cream either way.”
•  That reassured my daughter enough for her to admit, albeit tentatively, that she really was hungry. 
• So I suggested that we stop off at a restaurant and share a small salad. After that we would go on for the ice cream.

Insisting that kids eat at least some healthy food before moving on to the fun stuff is a common parenting strategy.

But I wasn’t using the ice cream to get my daughter to eat the salad. I was trying to teach her something about hunger.

So what would I have done if my daughter had said that she wasn’t hungry? If we had the time, I would have pushed off eating for an hour or so until my daughter had more of an appetite. Then we would have eaten the light lunch followed by the ice cream.

But if that wasn’t in the cards, if we had to rush right home for instance, I would have taken my daughter for the ice cream, as promised. I just would have talked to her about hunger first. “Remember,” I would have said, “you’re not really hungry. Normally it would be better to wait until you were hungry, but we don’t have time today. So, let’s just have a small ice cream. You don’t want to get too full, or to get a tummy ache.”

Teach your kids to become fluent in the "language" of hunger—no matter how young they are.

Eating is a complicated business because people eat for all sorts of reasons and kids need to know this.

For instance, in addition to Tummy Hunger, people often eat because of the following reasons: 

• Taste Hunger; something looks good. When this happens, it’s best to have a small portion, just a taste.
• Practical Hunger, they need to eat for practical reasons such as when there won’t be time for lunch later. In this case, you might have to have a few bites even if you aren’t hungry.
• Emotional Hunger, the times we eat to quench uncomfortable feelings. These situations are best responded to with a hug, or other comforting measure.

~Changing the conversation from nutrition to habits.~

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Source: Tribole, E. and E. Resch, 2003. Intuitive Eating: a Revolutionary Program That Works., Vol. 2nd Edition. New York: St. Martin's Press.

When Kids Overeat

Parenting an overeater is definitely challenging.

You've probably heard that children (like adults!) shouldn't diet and that restricting food makes kids hoard. So how can you help while keeping their self esteem intact?

Register for my class at the Natural Gourmet Institute! 

Sunday February 24th, 2-5pm

In this class I will show you how to stop being the "food police" and start helping your kids enjoy health-supportive meals without guilt or dieting. This naturally leads to eating less.

You'll also learn how to help your kids recognize their intuitive hunger signals, taste preferences, and satiation, as well as coping techniques for a range of eating situations including parties, play dates and buffets.

Everyone who attends will leave armed with an individualized action plan to teach your kids the skills they'll need for a lifetime of healthy eating.

Source: The New York Times

Register Today!!!

Read this great article from The New York Times to get started.

~Changing the conversation from nutrition to habits.~

Could Sluggish Taste Buds Cause Childhood Obesity?

Are dull taste buds to blame for childhood obesity?

I've written a lot about how important it is to expose your kids to a wide variety of flavors.  It's why I recommend The Rotation Rule so strenuously. (Don't serve the same food two days in a row.)

Now, researchers in Germany are making the same argument for a different reason: It might reduce your child's chances of becoming obese.

A small German study recently discovered that obese children have a weaker sense of taste than normal-weight children.

When you can't taste things well you eat more?  Makes sense since kids who have super, extraordinary, powerful tastebuds often eat less.

What's the solution?  German researcher Dr. Overberg concludes:

"We think it's important, especially for young children, to get different tastes so that they can improve their taste sensitivity."

Continuing, Dr. Oberberg says:

"If you taste more and different things at younger ages, you can do this [improve taste sensitivity]."

More tastes.  And different tastes.

Most parents inadvertently teach their kids to enjoy the same flavors over and over.

It's not your fault. If you follow the American eating "plan" for kids you'll feed your kids a sweet and salty diet. Read Are "Child-Friendly" Foods Really Gateway Drugs?

It's one of my main arguments against juice: Giving your kids on a regular basis trains (and trains again) your kids' taste buds to enjoy the flavor they already love —sweet.  Read Training Tiny Taste Buds. 

In this study children were asked to taste strips of paper inflused with sweet, sour, salty, savory and bitter flavors.

• Obese kids scored an average of 12.6 out of a possible 20.
• Normal-weight kids scored an average of 14.1.

Doesn't sounds like a big difference in dull, but the results were statistically significantly different.

Then the children were asked to rate the taste's intensity on a five-point scale.

The obese children rated all flavor concentrations lower than the normal-weight group.

Read The New York Times article.

Exposing children to different flavors isn't as hard as it seems.  Here are 4 things you can do today:

• Jettison the idea that learning to appreciate different flavors is the same as eating foods with different flavors.  Let your kids taste; don't expect them to eat. Read Why Some Kids Should Spit.
• Always look at food from your children's perspective: By looking at taste and texture.  Then vary what familiar foods you serve, so you vary taste and texture as much as possible. Read Pizza, Pizza, Pizza.
• Instead of asking, "Do you like it?" ask your children something more provocative: "Is it as sweet as the chicken you ate yesterday?" Don't be afraid to be silly: "Does it smell like your dad's sweaty sneakers?" For a list of questions read Nix the Negativity.
• Focus on sensory education. Read Teach Your Way Out of a Picky Eating Problem with Sensory Education. 

There's no guarantee that improving your children's taste buds will solve an overeating problem.

But it can't hurt!

Overeaters need to learn a host of skills for a lifetime of healthy eating. (Read Helping Kids Who Overeat.) Sensory education is a good place to start.

~Changing the conversation from nutrition to habits.~